Crazy Black Freddy at the Pearly Gate CHAPTER TEN
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I don't know his whole life story but I know a few things about Crazy Freddy. For one thing he's always losing money. He drives a taxi but he's not too good at making change and you see it's like this: If Freddie makes a mistake in his favor most of the time the passengers will let him know and make him give them their money. On the other hand, let's say he owes the passenger five bucks but Freddie gives him a twenty. A lot of times the passengers will just put the money in their pockets and go out laughing.
Especially because he smells bad, he's wearing dirty clothes, his hair is matted and he usually has to ask them like 15 times where they're going cuz he keeps forgetting. The same thing happens when he goes into a deli and buys a sandwich or coffee. Plus on top of that when anybody asks him to lend them some money, he will if he has it on him. And he forgets to ask for it back. So poor Crazy Freddie is the exact opposite of Michael Bloomberg or Mayor Hall.
You know even with the drug test you got a lot of drug addicts driving taxis. Usually we have one or two of them living in the garage on the sly. Freddie is not one of them. Freddie is just crazy.
Crazy Freddie is more or less homeless and friendless. Sometimes when he gets back to the garage he can't even pay for the lease and gas that he owes.
In my story The Mayor and Crazy Freddie get to the Pearly Gate together. It turns out that Saint Peter is not the guy that runs the gate, it's a guy that looks like, talks like and thinks like Bamba the dispatcher. He's always looking for a buck.
I guess they don't have money in heaven or else Bamba would have tried to shake The Mayor down. So Bamba tells them they got two choices: They can switch places and go back to Earth or they can go straight to hell.
Crazy Freddie didn't have any trouble making his decision but The Mayor actually wanted to ask questions. So in the story Bamba says to The Mayor "Take it or leave it. You don't have much time to think about this but let me tell you, hell is worse than being Crazy Freddie."
So Crazy Freddie wakes up on this massage table inside of Mayor Hall's body with two young ladies in swimsuits giving him a four hand massage.
Mayor Hall wakes up inside Crazy Freddie's body in that broken beige wicker chair that's in the taxi drivers waiting room at Pleasant Avenue Yellow that Crazy Freddie sort of lives in. I never finished writing the story just like I never finished school to become an ambulance guy and I never did much of anything but get drafted into the army and driving a taxi. And in the barracks in special training I learned how to play poker.
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